Stay the Course…

The goal is not to finish first, but just finish! Dr. TC

I’ve been feeling a strong pull lately to encourage someone to stay the course. The Holidays are here, and as a therapist and ministry leader I have seen many times through my experience, people revert to old ways of behaving and thinking during the Holidays. In many ways, the true test of genuine change is how well the work you have put in on yourself stands up against the Holiday months.

The Holidays are truly what you make of them. I know the context is different…shorter days, less sunshine, more temptations, more family around, financial pressures, more time at home, no school, etc. All of these things can truly have a negative affect on your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. I encourage you to stay the course. Stay the course towards the better you. Stay the course, finish what you have started even through the difficulty. Continue to pursue your personal goals regardless of obstacles of criticisms. Stay the course. Be better. Do better. Think better. Become better in every area of your life.

Don’t enter into a new year with old goals. This may be an indication of stagnation, little growth, low motivation, lack of genuine desire for change, anxiety or fear. Be determined to win over every circumstance. I know 2020 has been an interesting year to say the least. I can’t tell you how much I have been affected, but not infected by the circumstances of this year. I intentionally decided to stay the course despite every obstacle. I decided to manage my anxieties and not let my anxieties manage me. I decided to press into God, my source of strength, like never before. I decided to watch Him more than I watch the news for direction, strategies, and the mystery of how He is moving in the midst of turmoil. Our 3-year-old said something so profound last night just before sleep, he said, “I just hear miracles all the time.” My spirit was ignited that this little being has an ear to hear God, and he seems to always deliver a message to me just when I need it to help me stay the course.

To someone out there reading this post, I just hear miracles for you! The miraculous ways of God are always in action. He never slumbers or sleeps. I encourage you to stay the course in these last few months of the year. The year 2020 has been a test of faith, be determined to past the test and expect a great reward!

Stay the course….

Dr. TC

Living THIS MOMENT…

Kamala Harris is Vice President elect of the United States of America. Barack Obama was the 44th President of the United States of America. Michelle Obama was First Lady of the United States of America. Malia and Sasha were black children of the First Family raised in the White House for 8 years.

This post is not political. It’s powerful. It’s personal. It’s a moment to process what this means to me as a black woman born, raised, and living in the United States of America. I have often imagined living in other countries where it is not uncommon to see Black people thrive and prosper. For example, I think of countries in Africa where it is not uncommon to see Black leaders, Presidents, Kings and Queens. I think about what it must be like to enjoy the prosperity of your labor without feeling guilty, undeserving, or loneliness. I have personally experienced the looks and the unspoken feelings from the majority when they see me driving a similar car or living right next door or carrying the same shopping bag. It’s that feeling that somehow I’m not supposed to have it, simply because of the color of my skin. Education doesn’t matter. Personal preferences don’t matter. Hard work doesn’t matter. As a Black American, these unspoken feelings have constantly made me remind myself that I am worthy of prosperity, abundance, and God’s blessings just like anyone else.

As I watched Kamala Harris give her victory speech and then experienced the image of Rosa Parks, Ruby Bridges, and Kamala Harris displayed above, I did feel hope and pride, but I also felt anxiety. I felt anxiety as I pondered this question: “What is the cost of prosperity as a Black American?” There are disadvantages to prosperity, especially being Black. Because I am a person who is willing to take risks…and not afraid of the unknown, this anxiety does not deter me from pushing myself to prosperity; however, I am honest enough to admit there is some anxiety. In my journey for change, my hope outweighs my anxiety. I know these historical moments for Black Americans is not by chance, but orchestrated by the will of God. For many of us, these moments have raised the bar to what we can be and can accomplish. These moments have added some dreams that we had never even considered. These moments have opened up new possibilities into what we can become. For me, these moments have given greater vision into how I can lead and serve others no matter the color of their skin.

I often wonder why the fight for equality is so arduous? I wonder why equality, something that seems so basic, causes such turmoil? I think I know why. It’s because that is what God desires and the enemy constantly fights against what is just, good, and right for us all. Thank you Ruby, Kamala, Michelle, Barack, Rosa, Malia, Sasha, and countless others for giving me the strength to fight and providing real examples of systemic transformation. I choose to continue the fight for change. I choose to fight with dignity and pride. I choose to continue the fight wholeheartedly with LOVE.

Dr. TC

STILL Healing From Miscarriage

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” — Maya Angelou

I experienced a spontaneous miscarriage on 6/15/20. I don’t know what I thought this journey would be like. I’ve never been down this road. I think if there wasn’t some kind of desire in me to have a daughter, maybe it would be a little easier. I have continued to process my recent miscarriage, some days unexpectedly. It’s the “life that never was” and the “what if this was my daughter” that is the most painful to accept. A dear friend of mine thought enough of me to mail me a book to aid in my healing process.

This book did it for me. It started the grieving and healing process I probably would have ashamedly dismissed. I am a therapist and this book has become my therapy. One thing that stood out to me early on in the book’s content is its statements on not knowing the real pain of death until it actually takes place inside of you. Yes, any of us can be so full of life on the outside, yet carry death inside of us (sounds like another blog). For some it’s easier to process death that happens externally, but it’s much more disconcerting to process death that happens internally and unexpectedly. The automatic “it must be something wrong with me” looms over every attempt to find peace, understanding, and healing through the trauma.

Trauma. Wow, that’s what I have experienced. I am realizing and accepting I experienced a trauma. My trauma is three-fold; the death of an unborn child, the “potential” of meeting our daughter, and the physical effects of miscarriage itself. I experienced heavy bleeding that led to syncope. I was told I should have received a blood transfusion. I became anemic for weeks after the miscarriage, and I’ve never been anemic at any other time in my life. Additionally, I am also still battling severe acne that occurred as a result of miscarriage. The emotional, physical, and spiritual impacts of miscarriage are never to be ignored or dismissed, but embraced.

I am strong. I am strong because I have accepted my experience and I am willing to do the healing that is needed for my mind, body, and spirit. Through my reading and journaling, I am experiencing God as a true healer and comforter to the broken-hearted. I am understanding God’s pain even the more through my own experience of pain. I have a better understanding into the depths of death. After all, I carried death inside me until it actually left my body. And, I live to tell the story…

Dr. TC

Becoming GR8: The Feeling of FAITH

Pressure. Pressure is defined as the physical force exerted on an object. Pressure is heavy. Pressure makes you sweat profusely. Pressure feels unbearable and nearly impossible to hold. Pressure feels like every muscle is being stretched to its limit. Pressure consumes your thoughts and tries to take over your emotions. Pressure is painful to your mind, body, and spirit. And this, my friends, is the feeling of faith.

Standing in faith is not a passive position. It’s not easy. When you are standing in faith, every ounce of your being is activated to help you believe what you can not see. Choosing to stand in faith means there is an equal and opposite force desiring you to give up, throw in the towel, and surrender your power. This creates a tremendous amount of consistent pressure, that often intensifies as you get closer to the end of a thing. When you are resisting the pressure to give up and stand in faith, you often have to fight against anxiety, feelings of failure and inadequacy. As you continue to intentionally stand on God’s Word and let His power within you work against your opposition, you develop faith muscles that take you from inadequacy…to enough…to abundance!

This message of standing in faith under pressure reminds me of a diamond. From the web, “diamonds are formed deep within the earth’s mantle. Diamonds are brought to the earth’s surface during violent pressure and change. Under the duress of approximately 725,000 pounds per square inch, and at temperatures of 2000 – 2200 degrees Fahrenheit, a diamond will begin to form.” Extreme pressure and heat brings diamonds to the Earth’s surface. Think about it, we were formed from the Earth just like diamonds. God created pressure and pain, not to break us, but to make us.

Even in my own faith walk under pressure, I’m holding on to my faith. I’m going to prove to myself that my life is not my own, that God fights for me, that the power within me WILL move mountains.

Join me in your own walk of true faith under pressure. Let’s go from inadequacy…to enough…to abundance!

Dr. TC

Consistent GR8ness!

Being GR8 requires consistency. I have witnessed plenty of people who start off GR8 and end up ordinary. GR8 people are constantly striving to do the extraordinary. GR8 people take risks. GR8 people invest in themselves and are found frequently perfecting their craft.

GR8 people demonstrate GR8ness consistently. This means GR8 people remain GR8 even under pressure. GR8 people are resilient and have integrity. GR8 people push the limits within themselves to see just how far they can go. GR8 people answer the question, “Can I do this?” with answer, “I certainly will try!”

The GR8ness in me was inspired to ignite the GR8ness in you for a season. This pandemic has been a blessing and a curse for many. GR8 people can more easily embrace the blessing in these times by focusing on not what is…but the possibility of what can be!

Enjoy your journey being GR8,

Dr. TC

Recover Well

No matter what you are facing or what you have been through, recover well. Don’t look like what you’ve been through. God wants you to come out of the fire shining like pure gold. He wants to make your time in the fire valuable like diamonds. Recover well. When you speak more fervently about what you’ve been through than how you made it through, you continue to give your circumstances more power than your Sustainer. Talk like a winner. Walk like a winner. Dress like a winner. Recover well. Sometimes God takes you through to bring you out! Come out better. Come out stronger. Come out wiser. Recover well.

Dr. TC

God, My Father

I’m gaining a new perspective of God being my father, which brings tears to my eyes. You see, I didn’t grow up with a consistent father figure. His inconsistencies and not being there when I really needed him has left me with a deep desire for security from a father/male figure my entire life. I just want to feel taken care of and feel that what I can’t do on my own, somebody cares enough about me to recognize my needs and step in to help me without me even asking. This has been an ongoing need and battle in my life.

Throughout my life, I attributed my perspective of my human father as that of my spiritual father, emotionally disconnected from my true needs and desires. I knew God loved me, but didn’t think He really cared about my needs or desires. Presently, not only is God showing me He loves me, but He loves me so much, it is His pleasure to not only provide my needs, give me some things that I want, but also make dreams come true for me! I am experiencing a powerful kind of love at age 39 I have wanted my entire life. Watching God make dreams come true in my life, dreams I didn’t even know I still wanted, is overwhelmingly joyful.

My message in this is simple…God loves you deeply. He will move mountains for you. He will rebuke sickness and death for you. He will perform miracles just for you. Receive not only His deep love for you, receive His true commitment to you and your well-being.

**If you are reading this and are struggling to connect with God, reach out to me for support and prayer. I’m here for you.**

Dr. TC

Courage…Work Your Power!

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timonthy 1:7

I want to stop here: “For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power…” POWER! When you recognize the power that lies within you, nothing is impossible. Courage is a true display of God’s power working within. I am so full at this moment because I can testify I used the power of courage recently that opened doors I didn’t even know were available to me. God knew, but I didn’t. Unbeknownst to me, I was holding the key. When you intentionally put fear in its place and intentionally choose to operate in courage, you will then realize the true magnitude of the God-given power you possess. You don’t have to develop this power, it was freely given to you. You just have to learn how to work your power. The ball is in your court.

Be courageous.

Dr. TC

Craft…

I’m skilled at several things which makes it challenging to define my craft. What I’m realizing is my craft is to create. I love to look at images of home decor styles and create the look in reality. I love creating new experiences for others that expands their ability to dream for themselves. I love to create new, innovative learning experiences for our son. I create an atmosphere of support as I lead others to total wellness through my fitness programs. I create genuine spiritual encounters as I lead in ministry. I love to create new vegan dishes as I lead our family to better health. I create unity as I intentionally build positive connections with people from different cultural backgrounds. I create new behaviors and new mindsets as I provide mental health therapy. I create businesses that meet needs. I create art with my written words. I create realities from dreams. What’s your craft?

Dr. TC

Collaborate…

Come together. Help one another. Share ideas. Share a vision. Accomplish goals. Build strength. Accomplish the impossible. Get ‘er done!

These are all the phrases that come to my mind when I think of the word collaborate. I had an impromptu collaborative conversation on yesterday that I think….just may have changed the pace of my dreams. The dreams/visions I have just got accelerated because of some ideas and support I received I didn’t know I had. And now, the manifestation of those dreams will show up sooner than expected.

When you connect yourself with the right person or group, your collaborative efforts can actually benefit every player involved. Sometimes the right collaborative team takes time and sometimes you may have to erase and start again and again until you find the right fit. But when you do, success is inevitable.

Cheers to your future success!

Dr. TC