I am struggling with this thought…”I’m not good enough.” It’s a conflicting place to be because deep down I know that I am. I know what I have to offer is great. I know what I can accomplish is endless. I know how I serve can be far reaching. But…it hasn’t happened.
I sometimes feel like that huge elephant in the room that no one pays attention to…unless you are in need of an elephant. And…how often do we actually need elephants? Most of the time we only pay attention to the elephant when the elephant has literally pushed our backs against the wall and we have no choice but to say, “Ok elephant…I see you.”
I actually made a note to myself a few years ago to take risks with no fear, go after my dreams, and live on purpose daily. I even led others to do the same. For the most part, I have maintained this tempo and I love who I am and how I serve. I am just stuck in feeling like I’m in this place of holding. I sense a big break…daily. A break from my present circumstances that are so emotionally debilitating it almost makes me want to give up. But, I don’t. I keep pressing towards the mark…some mark that seems to shift and move and I have to constantly seek to find where it went next.
It is difficult to be multi-talented because it’s hard to decipher what you should focus on. What is your niche. Where is your true passion. I make mental notes to myself that it’s ok to be in this place. I keep sensing one day soon it will all make sense. All of it will come together into a uniformed package I can more confidently sell. Or maybe my current package of multi-talented pieces is enough. After all…you can reach in and find exactly what you need when you need it. Like a woman’s purse.
I make note. I make note of how I serve others. I make note of their testimonies in response to something I did or said that changed their lives. I make note of that rewarding feeling I get, that feeling of purpose that gives me strength to continue being me.